Okay, Lexie, no big dealeroonie, the man thinks, jumping from one leg to another and rolling his shoulders. Or, he tried to, but this Santa suit was really affecting his movamobility. It was full of kisstletoe, to be fair—otherwise known as mistletoe. But that was alllllll part of the plan, baby!
See, after much convincing (he asked Toby once), he managed to get his hands on a Santa suit for his fool-proof plan to get All The Kisses. He was single, and it was his time to shine! Lexie was going to go from bar to bar while the rest of his friends cosy up by the fire. He would NOT be the only person not getting Christmas kisses. That would be tragic? Lexiephobic, even?
The Plan was to fill his big red coat with mistletoe (thank you, duct tape) and reveal with collection when he’d found the perfect kissable victim. Someone could say no to one mistletoe, duh, it’s not all-knowing and mighty like a god or patronym, but at least seventy of them? Seventy mistletoe that tickle his sides and poke into his arms because there’s so many? Not a solo on this globe-o could deny him a kiss seeing that!
Okay, back to hyping himself up (as if he needed hyping, he was Lexie, duh, but it’s always good to support the bros! Even broself!), stretching out his neck as he steps up to the bar. Which bar? Well— so— uh— he is going to other bars soon! But he likes—no, loves Razzles, so why shouldn’t he start there? And he wants to thank Rhys again for buying him a brand(!) new(!) van(!) so he could drive his canvases around easier. Rhys was the bestest brother, was Lexie’s point. He wanted to support him by buying lots of shots and getting lots of kisses at the same time. Where would he go next? The world was his clam! He could go anywhere! (He did not know of any bars other than Razzles.)
He steps through the door, grin on his face, prepared for a lively, festive crowd! His face drops only a little bit when he finds very normal looking people wearing normal non-Christmas themed outfits, hunched over drinks or talking amongst themselves. Was there a glitch in the world clock again? Like the one time he had a two hour nap and woke up fourteen hours later despite setting an alarm? Rhys said this wasn’t the world clock and was something to do with Lexie(??? Rude?) putting his alarm at the wrong time. But surely this time it was time-schenaniganigans. It was Christmas Eve! Where was the Christmas music? Where were the silly jumpers with fluffy baubles and dangly bits? And worst of all, Aiden was behind the bar and not Rhys!
“Merry Christmas,” she chuckles as Lexie stomps his way towards Aiden, sitting across from the other bartender. His half-and-half hair was pulled up into a bun, with a little snowman head pinned to the top. At least someone here is trying, Lexie huffs as Aiden starts mixing a drink in front of him. “You’re looking jolly.”
“Why does it suck here so much?” Lexie asks, crossing his arms over the counter and resting his head on top of them. Aiden rolls his eyes, laughing at him as she pours vodka into the glass before holding it under the tap for cola. Lexie didn’t know how he’d memorised his order when Lexie hadn’t even told her, maybe it was some weird bartender magic, considering Rhys and Kai had done the same.
“I’ll tell Rhys you said that,” Aiden hums, smiling softly as he places the drink right in front of Lexie’s face.
“Where is he? I was hoping he’d be here tonight,” the man pouts, tilting his head to try to grab the straw with his lips and tongue, but the squirmy little thing keeps escaping him. Yes, he could sit up and try again, but he was maybe, possibly having some fun trying it with his head so low to the counter.
The bartender eyes him as is if she was observing a cool painting, the good ol’ squint and turn your head to the side (Lexie has perfected it for when he’s in Business Mode at the gallery). “He’s on a date.”
The straw, finally(!!!) between his teeth falls back into the glass with a small plop as Lexie’s mouth drops open. “Excuse me?”
Aiden shrugs, his sly smirk the only tell that she was definitely telling the truth and Rhys had forsaken their treasured brotherhood by keeping this from Lexie. “Some blondie was here, chatting him up all night, kept planting mistletoe everywhere. When the bar shut, they were still talking so I left Rhys to handle it but apparently, it went well. They’ve been upstairs since Rhys let me in earlier.”
“Upstairs?!”, Lexie screams, standing and rushing to move under the hole in the bar to get through. His large, filled coat stops him in his tracks, forcing him to scream loudly. “WHY?! How could he not tell me? Let me out of here! I need to talk to Rhys now!!!”
“Hey, buddy, let’s calm down no—”
Lexie swings at Aiden’s attempts to push him out of the hole with her foot, clawing at his clothed leg. Vicious, Ferrero Roche, A Threat, that’s what Lexie was, and he wouldn’t be silenced, dammit! “LET ME SEE MY BROTHER OR I’LL START SCREAMING!! YOU HEAR ME? I’LL SHAKE THIS WHOLE PLACE IF I HA—”
“Who the fuck is shoutin’?”
Lifting his head, Lexie finds the man, the myth, the legend himself…covered in bruises? Oh my god, his neck was covered! Did his date actually go badly and Rhys needed to spend the day in bed resting? Now Lexie was even more Ferrero Roche! “Where are it?”
Rhys takes one look Lexie’s way, raising a disgusted brow (Lexie knows it’s just his thing, he’s not really disgusted) before approaching the end of the bar. “It? What are ya on about?”
“He— she— it— no, it doesn’t work— ugh, WHERE ARE THEM?”, Lexie stumbles over the words. He was trying really hard to be more gender neutron, to be a better Alley To The Cause. He even switched between he and she for Aiden! (Because he didn’t want any of the he’s or she’s to get favouritism? He had to make sure he used one and then the other? Even if he sometimes forgot which one he used last and had to find a way to reset it by using something like bro or dude.) But right now? Right now he was very busy trying to drag his round, little body out of this prison it had found itself in.
“Who is them? And why do ya look like a roly poly right now?”, Rhys asks, squatting down in front of Lexie, poking him in the shoulder. “Is that meant to be Santa?”
“Meant to be— do you not see my perfect costume?”, the round man scoffs, glaring as Rhys flips the countertop above him. Something pinches at Lexie’s back, roughly pulling him up and off the ground, puffy sides sliding up the walls of his cage until he can stand, finally free. “Oh— thanks, bro! Now where was I? Oh yeah, where is the frickle-pickle who did this to you?”
Rhys puts a hand out, pushing Lexie away from the now open gap in the bar as he’s about to walk through it (rude?). “Lex, the fuck are ya on about? Who did what? Why are ya here?”
“The person who beat your neck up! Duh!”
Silence sits between them. Lexie didn’t like silence much, or at all, really, but Rhys looked like he was in deep contemplation (he was frowning) so Lexie did his best (bit his tongue hard). “Ya know who it is, dude. They didn’t do anything wrong, it’s— I— fuck sake, I shouldn’t have’ta explain this to ya. When two people like each other very much, they—”
Lexie slaps Rhys’ hands from where he’s starting to make very obvious The Birds And The Bees motions. The man had had that talk several times, thank you, he didn’t need to be edumacated any further. It’s…well…he didn’t think Rhys would ever get sucked on like a human lollipop, so was it that silly to assume he’d been in a fight? No! Rhys had been in several fights! This was smart thinking, actually! “You’re a virgin though?”
If murder was an expression on a mood chart, Lexie thinks maybe, possibly Rhys’ current face would be used for reference. There’s several more moments of silence (yuck) before Rhys takes a loooooong breath and clenches his eyes shut. “What will it take for ya to fuck off?”
“I’m here on a mission!”
“Uh-huh, what’s that then?”
It wasn’t that Lexie had forgotten about the bruises or that he was determined to stomp up Rhys’ stairs to face his date head on, but he found he was no longer angry as his attention was brought back to The Plan. He steps back to give Rhys the full reveal, dramatically ripping the coat open. If several (at least six) mistletoe fall to the floor, then it’s their business and not his, ignoring it as he poses with a grin.
“Why are ya— is that mistletoe?”, Rhys asks, the silly guy that he is. Obviously, it’s mistletoe (Lexie had to ask his dad several times because he wasn’t sure when he’d bought it, but after being told nine times, he was sure it was). “How does this explain shit?”
Aiden pipes up, leaning around Rhys. “I think Lex was expecting more holiday spirit in here.”
“That isn’t The Plan, though!”, the man explains, stomping his foot as he gestures to his outfit again. “Mistletoe is for kissing, right? So I’m going to get all of them.”
“Yer gonna get all the kisses…I— is— did you hit yer head while ya were on the floor or somethin’?”
“No! This is a good plan!”, Lexie shouts back, slamming his hands on the counte— Rhys had lifted the counter that Lexie’s hands were aiming for when he was saving him, so all Lexie can do is fall, slowly, as if in a dramatic music video, watching his life flash before his eyes one moment at a t—
“Seriously, are ya alright or do I need to take ya to the hospital?” Rhys steadies Lexie quickly, frowning as Big Brother mode kicks in. (Big Brother mode just means Rhys actually shows there is more under that scowl than just murderous rage and maybe, possibly he might be a bit soft for his brother.) “Why are ya so clumsy today?”
“It’s a very bad, not good day.”
Rhys scoffs, pulling away and closing the bar top. “Yer bein’ dramatic.”
“How can you say that when you have people like this”—he waves his arms widely, ignoring the stares that follow—“in your bar?”
“I swear to— ya know what?” Rhys slaps the counter loudly, earning the attention of the rest of the bar. “If anyone wants to snog this guy and get ‘im off my hands for the evenin’, I’ll cover ya tab!”
Lexie sits up, eyes as wide as saucers as he scans the room in a panic. This was not The Plan, this was actually very opposite. Not only was no one here festive enough, but they were all staring back at him.
“Come on! Any takers? Free drinks for whatever idiot wants to kiss thi—”
“Whees!!” Lexie hisses, closing his jacket and wrapping his arms around himself. He wasn’t sure what was more embarrassing, Rhys shouting it out loud or that no one was taking him up on it. Rhys frowns at him, glancing behind the man before his green eyes come back to Lexie’s. “Stop? Please?”
“Any takers?” Rhys repeats, voice bored. Lexie didn’t understand what was happening, but his face felt hot, and his skin felt hot, and suddenly a Santa costume full of mistletoe was too many layers to be wearing when he was a little bit on fire, he thinks.
Movement catches Lexie’s attention, whipping around to find a tall redhead rolling their eyes at him. “Finally. Was trying to get you to turn around for a while.”
“Huh?” It’s all Lexie can come up with. He’s very confused, brain frazzling more with each second that passes.
The person laughs at him. Not in a mean way, Lexie thinks, but they’re laughing and he finds his stomach twisting a little at how cute it is. “Free drinks for some kisses, right? That was the deal?”
“Yep,” Rhys answers, forcing Lexie to turn back to him. All his brother does is raise a brow as if challenging him. As if he thinks Lexie would back down from that. “Ade, do you know what they had?”
“Actually—” Redhead steps past Lexie, a large hand on his arm as they lean over the counter to whisper something to Rhys. Aiden bites his lip, shaking her head. Lexie is, once again, confused.
Rhys nods, rolling his eyes and gesturing to Lexie. “Go on then, ya two can fuck off now.”
Lexie has many things to say, so many it was hard to choose what to start with, actually (he did not) but he was being pulled away by the tall, pretty person. It isn’t until he’s at the door that he remembers he was meant to thank Rhys for the van, desperately glancing back to find his brother stepping into the back, too far gone for Lexie to chase him. He’d have to come back tomorrow— wait, tomorrow was Christmas, he’d see him at their folks’ house, he’d thank him th—
“You were so chatty in there,” Redhead starts, letting Lexie go and stepping in front of him on the pavement. “Why so quiet now?”
“I don’t know what’s happening,” Lexie confesses, letting himself take in the stranger without any other distractions. They have wide, hazel eyes, lined in black, kind of like charcoal is what Lexie finds himself thinking as they step closer.
Lexie didn’t think he was short, but they duck to line their face with his and now he can’t help but be aware of it, gulping. “I’m hitting on you, handsome.”
“But— but I—”
They step closer somehow (Lexie really isn’t sure how they haven’t stepped on his toes yet), lifting a hand to run a finger along Lexie’s jaw. “But what?”
“I didn’t show you my plan yet!”
“Huh?” The stranger smiles softly, tilting their head. “What plan have you got?”
Lexie can’t think of much else to do than to show them (duh), so he rips Santa’s belly open, spilling more mistletoe. Stranger’s eyes follow, biting on their lip before they drop their arm, clutching it to their toned stomach (did Lexie mention they were wearing a body shirt thingy? It feels important to know they have a vest thing that dips into their waistband and is skin (!) tight (!) on) as they bend to laugh. When they look up to him, it looks like their gaze is dancing. “You’re cute, you know that?”
Gulping, he shrugs. His face feels hot, in a not-completely-unfun-way. “I want a kiss for every piece of mistletoe.”
“Oh? You don’t even know my name but you’re going to demand”—they scan his body slowly, forcing him to fidget—”that many kisses from me? I wasn’t aware you were attracted to me at all, considering I’ve been doing all the talking here.”
“I am!”, Lexie hurries. And he was! Sure, he’d only recently (it was February, cause he remembered eating Valentine’s chocolates the day after) discovered he wasn’t straight, and as much as this was kind of, a little bit new to him, he wasn’t going to deny the flitter-flutter in his chest. “I think you’re very pretty.”
The stranger’s smile softens, standing. “Pretty, hm? You’re very sweet.”
Name!!!, Lexie’s mind prods him. “So, the— you— your name, please?”
“Frankie. Yours?”
The name is too gender neutron to give Lexie any guidance, brow crinkling. He was trying his best to not assume until told but sometimes names gave some sort of clue, right?
“Hey, stay with me, cutie. What’s your name?”
Lexie blinks, jostling back a step when he sees how close they are. “I’m Lexie. Or Lex. Or anything you want. OH!” He waves his arms, remembering what Aiden told him about protons. “I’m he/him!”
The redhead—Frankie—’s lip curls up at the side, squinting at Lexie. “Lexie, Lex, Anything-I-Want, he/him. Anything else I should know? How about your mother’s maiden name?”
“What does maiden name mean?”
Lexie isn’t sure what happened but Frankie is giving him that I’m about to aw face, as if asking questions was cute. “Don’t worry, handsome. I was joking.”
He wasn’t worried. Well, not about that. He was hoping Frankie would share their protons, too, save him some guesswork. Good thing he wasn’t one to back away from a challenge, but he really was trying to be a good Alley (To The Cause).
Frankie’s hand wanders again, plucking a piece of mistletoe from the lining of duct tape and holding it over their heads with a mystechevious smirk. “Should we get started?”
Lexie glances around. They were outside Razzles still, the window and bar clear in view. But…well…Frankie was cute! Pretty! Very nice to look at and probably even nicer to kiss! The man decides it’s time for a hype sesh, a quick hop-hop-sigh, before he leans forward and pecks Frankie lightly on the lips.
It’s over as quick as it started, but Lexie has to swallow the giggle that wants to escape at the taste of bubble gum that lingers on his own lips when he wets them. Opening his eyes, he finds Frankie with theirs closed, frowning as the seconds tick by. Lexie isn’t really sure what he’s meant to do, too busy feeling and not thinking.
“That’s it?”
“Huh?”, Lexie jumps at Frankie’s voice. “Well, I got all this mistletoe left, but I don’t want to go through them all h—”
Large hands cup his cheeks, tilting his head before Frankie presses their lips to his own again. This kiss is…a lot more than a peck. Frankie is good at kissing, Lexie decides in the five seconds their mouth claims his. His cheeks heat under their touch, hands uselessly hanging at his sides, even as they pull away, Lexie leaning to chase them.
“There. Now I know what I’m in for, we can decide your place or mine, hm?”
Frankie’s lip between their teeth, eyes glowing with something definitely, possibly magical are all Lexie can see when he opens his own again. He finds himself gulping for the many-eth time since meeting the person. “Whatever is closer.”
Apparently, they like this idea, planting a quick peck to his cheek as they reach for his hand and pull him down the street.